18.1.10
A New Day
Morning Face lacking grace
Abit of snot and morning paste
Breath quite rancid slightly foul
My smiles a scowl my words a growl
Brains confused light is blinding
Cant face the day and feel like hiding
Feel like trash, I blame the booze
Feel like a 10 minute….maybe 4 hour snooze
Stomachs bloated and so I squeeze
And out pops the trumpet and evil breeze
That was great ,feel slightly better
Feel 7 foot tall and 2 stones lighter
Carpe Diem, Now am ready
Need to get up but still not steady
Need some sun got to get out
It was the brandy and champagne mix no doubt
Ill keep my cool and just reflect
Regret no sir, hung over and in debt
Life is a journey no set route
Ill just do my best, make every moment count
Raphael de Souza (RDS) 18th Jan 2010
14.1.10
When I was a king?
Today I sit on what I think may be a throne, trying to feel and live the same comforts of yesteryear
But feel a sharp pain giving me discomforts, reflective of current times that are hard to bear
Prosperity was once a fulltime resident, and what to me seemed a God given right
The norm, the only way, my reality where alot more of it was the only goal and plight.
My kingdom was mighty, so much so that even its mention or any reference be spoken
It had the fortitude to transcend all barriers where all of societies doors would be open
One never thought of what ifs, let’s says, and lets not take this lightly
My very existence, my situation and affluence was ordained by the almighty
The pain is in my back so I shift to reclaim that soothing feeling I once knew
I shuffle and feel the fabric of my throne, its expired, falling apart and far from new
It was easy to ignore the anchors of wealth and what held it all together
Because they had always been there and their permanence suggested “forever”
The core however had always been nurtured an attribute that many have tirelessly sought
Cognizant of the authentic, I’m unshaken in the notion that class can never simply be bought
But what have I lost to refer to this reality being in the past tense
To conclude I must identify the factors I keep and what I dispense
So now im frustrated, I don’t just feel but decide to look and open my eyes
My heartbeat slows and my breathing steadies as my mouth opens in slight surprise
Hindsight teaches and reminds you of your numerous life chapters and legacy
For the reason you exist today is due to your achievements and remarkable history
Don’t doubt your spirit and remind your self of you
Don’t settle, don’t compromise, relent or make do
What I saw was the reason for the pain I had felt, so on came a smile from the painful frown
All this time, all along, poking me and reminding me sitting their in its full glory……
……was my beautiful crown.
Raphael de Souza (RDS)16th Jan 2010
29.12.09
20.12.09
2009
As the year slowly pans out. I'm not sure of what to make of it. Its been a mixed bag of events: Obama being elected, 9 weddings I've attended, Redundancy and Michael Jackson's passing.
Quick word play:
Obama: Lifted my spirit, made me proud
9 Weddings: They make sense and i need a partner
Redundancy! I have tasted this first hand.. bitter pill beyond your control
Michael Jackson's passing: Emptiness, magic has left the building!!
So do i make a new years resolution or more? Or should I keep striving for world dominance? They say people don't plan to fail but rather fail to plan. So i guess the new years resolution thing now sheds off the cheese and holds water.
So plan 1: Do more of what i love
Plan 2: Let the world know that Raphael de Souza is single and available to......?(ill come back to that)
Plan 3: family......i cant say that lightly.. FAMILY!!!
Plan 4: Ambition,hard work, Career move.
Plan 5: Masters Degree in Digital Marketing or MBA
Plan 6: Stack up money.. makes the world go round.
PLan 7: Paint
Plan 8: Write.. Write.. Write
Plan 9: Get my 6 pack back
Plan 10: Achieve what is listed
Ok so im good to go.. but i notice that i have not included my Jaguar XKR as a plan.. but somehow i feel that fulfilling the above mentioned will get me the XKR as a matter of course.
Good night and God bless
Quick word play:
Obama: Lifted my spirit, made me proud
9 Weddings: They make sense and i need a partner
Redundancy! I have tasted this first hand.. bitter pill beyond your control
Michael Jackson's passing: Emptiness, magic has left the building!!
So do i make a new years resolution or more? Or should I keep striving for world dominance? They say people don't plan to fail but rather fail to plan. So i guess the new years resolution thing now sheds off the cheese and holds water.
So plan 1: Do more of what i love
Plan 2: Let the world know that Raphael de Souza is single and available to......?(ill come back to that)
Plan 3: family......i cant say that lightly.. FAMILY!!!
Plan 4: Ambition,hard work, Career move.
Plan 5: Masters Degree in Digital Marketing or MBA
Plan 6: Stack up money.. makes the world go round.
PLan 7: Paint
Plan 8: Write.. Write.. Write
Plan 9: Get my 6 pack back
Plan 10: Achieve what is listed
Ok so im good to go.. but i notice that i have not included my Jaguar XKR as a plan.. but somehow i feel that fulfilling the above mentioned will get me the XKR as a matter of course.
Good night and God bless
19.12.09
10.12.09
DEFRAGMENT
IT MADE SENSE TO HIM BUT IT WAS NOT EASY TO GET THE MESSAGE ACROSS. SO HE PAUSED FOR A FEW MINUTES AND BROKE DOWN HIS MESSAGE
"I fully appreciate and sympathize that your intentions are good.
But i have no choice but to react when your actions hurt me.
These feelings tend to happen independently of each other.
Such is the reality and i ask that you understand me and do your part."
.....
"I fully appreciate and sympathize that your intentions are good.
But i have no choice but to react when your actions hurt me.
These feelings tend to happen independently of each other.
Such is the reality and i ask that you understand me and do your part."
.....
15.10.09
maybe
The stars lights married her skin and lit them to show me the other side of her beauty
The sun’s rays showed me her perfect imperfections her true form her reality
I was aroused by the shape of her lips and infected by what came out of them
She spoke with such clarity and sincerity a given assumption that tapped into my inner self
As the words came out I heard her tone and listened to her message
Breaking down every facet of information I could process, I noticed her lips parting
And thought of their softness and sweetness, I was with her but I was far away
Taking her on a journey beyond this world, asking her to share my soul
I urged my aura to be beautiful again, like a majestic peacock showing its impressive colors
I wanted to dazzle her and make her smile and feel secure and endure challenges with me.
I smiled and she smiled back and at that moment we shared a story only open to us
We shared a dimension meant for us, a moment of magic fated by the universe’s need to optimize its creations.
When she laughed I panicked because it was perfect, too perfect too soon.
She held my hand as if to bring me back, she was real, the moment was real.
I deserve her and I will serve her.
The sun’s rays showed me her perfect imperfections her true form her reality
I was aroused by the shape of her lips and infected by what came out of them
She spoke with such clarity and sincerity a given assumption that tapped into my inner self
As the words came out I heard her tone and listened to her message
Breaking down every facet of information I could process, I noticed her lips parting
And thought of their softness and sweetness, I was with her but I was far away
Taking her on a journey beyond this world, asking her to share my soul
I urged my aura to be beautiful again, like a majestic peacock showing its impressive colors
I wanted to dazzle her and make her smile and feel secure and endure challenges with me.
I smiled and she smiled back and at that moment we shared a story only open to us
We shared a dimension meant for us, a moment of magic fated by the universe’s need to optimize its creations.
When she laughed I panicked because it was perfect, too perfect too soon.
She held my hand as if to bring me back, she was real, the moment was real.
I deserve her and I will serve her.
2.9.09
14.8.09
Thinking of Adia

The worlds events rage on like a storm and im on a ship that guides me through it...everytime i look at why i have survived i see the sails and i hear your voice... I see the rudders and i see your ambition and commitment.. i see the hull and i reflect on your sound and continuing legacy...i see the main mast and i see your heart.. you keep me alive and strong mom. (Raphael de Souza-12:08 pm August 14th-thinking about my amazing mother Adia" ...sent as random text...
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